Lemon Scented Rhomboid
by Dark Sadistic Angel
Summary: A get-together mission story - Duo relunctantly accompanies Heero on a mission after Heero picks him up after Duo picks up a random chick. Sheer absurdity- as expected of a romantic comedy.


Lemon Scented Rhomboid

2xOC, 1x2, Lemon, Action, Humour. Disclaimers Apply.

He saw the girl off to the door. She had clearly been around as there had been no hesitation in her steps to the exit, and the kiss she gave him was just as passionate as the first- although it was goodbye. They parted with a kiss and a wink- probably because both forgot other's name. But who needed names when all they had in common was a very good set of chemistry? If the woman was in the same bar next weekend, he was going to pick her up again. The sex had been great.

Duo whistled as he locked up his apartment's door again, very much sated after the intensive two hours. It was with a wide grin that he turned with.

'Now that you are done, can we get down to business?' drawled an all too familiar, yet not lately heard voice.

The husky, slightly rough around the edges voice sent a ripple of shock down Duo's back. He whipped down, his hands reaching out before him in a purely defensive street fighting stance befoe he completely registered the speaker's identity.

'Hell Heero!' he exclaimed.

'Hello Duo,' he greeted back in reply.

'Shit- haven't you heard of knocking?'

'You weren't here for me to try before,' Heero said dismissively.

'Try- in other words you didn't even attempt to- no, wait a minute, "before" I was- you were here the whole time!?' he burst out in horrified realisation. 'Oh fuck- tell me you weren't' he groaned.

'Why should I tell such a lie? I see no benefits.'

'I was having sex, Heero! Isn't that private!?'

Dark Prussian eyes looked at him with a lack of understanding mixed in with exasperation.

'You too were having sex in the living room- that's hardly a private space. If you wanted privacy, you should have gone into the bedroom,' he pointed out.

'This is it! It's is a wide, open space apartment- there is no separate room here except for the bathroom.'

'Then have sex in there.'

'What! Why should I? This is my apartment- you shouldn't even be here,' he snapped.

How the hell did he get in the first place anyway, he wondered. He had designed the system himself. And more- how the hell didn't he notice Heero? He had damn fine highly attuned senses- even if he was pashing through the doorway, or they had been busier than rabbits, he would normally notice a bystander in his own fucking loft. In more ways than one, it was damn creepy. And what right did he have to intrude in the first place? They were neither friends- he'd hadn't seen Heero in three years! Nor were they partners- he was in hiding from the hellhound recruiter Une and her equally twisted and nutty justice freak Wufei. No way the Preventers were getting him to sign up- unlike Quartre, he may not have an enterprise to run, but he sure had his own damn private life which he struggled to earn.

He'd done his part in the war where he met his far share of weirdos- save Quatre of course. Quatre, despite his wealth, was not stuck up or looney- after the war, he amended. Quatre wad kind and understanding. He was the only one who didn't begrudge his choice to leave the Preventers last year. Even if his taste in men was weird. To be a homosexual was not weird, but to be a homosexual who chases quiet, threatening homicidal clowns was downright fucking-the-rabid-staved and hungry wolf kind of weird, thank you siree. But compare to the rest of the mothers, he was like heaven sent normal. If Sister Helen, the saint who had raised him, met Quatre, she would have thought him "a very nice boy". Now Wufei and Une, she would have described them with a worried frown as "troubled, but good people". Trowa, now what would she describe him as? Definitely not as he would, but he never liked him, and he more than just suspect it was mutual- it didn't take him too long to figure that out after the not very subtle hints Trowa gave him since- well, the very first day they met.

Okay, just because he looked like a manwhore- no, sorry- just because he was a manwhore didn't mean he had been sleeping with Trowa's blond lover during the war. The man was like his kid brother, for crying out loud. He would never commit incest, even if they had come pretty close a few times. A blow job just doesn't count. If Trowa was a tiny bit obsessive with his jealous feelings, the nutter before him was even more so.

Heero flippin' Yuy, the almighty hero who saved the Earth from becoming wiped out by a couple of million or more tonnage of not-your-usual space junk falling down on your home. Now, thanks to his single mind determination, a billion, come and take a few digits, people who lived on the great dust ball instead of the sparkling glittering lumps of metal that were Colonies around it, were- gasp- not homeless. Ah Heero... method of blocking out everything but his one goal served him well as a soldier, but as a person... even Helen would have describe him as "disturbed".

Like, was guy makes himself comfortable on a semen soaked couch, and looks like he has done nothing wrong in watching you bang your joy and pride into some chick whom had been equally unobservant and unaware of the watching pervert hidden in the dark corners of the room.

'Okay, tell me, why the hell are you here?' Duo growled out.

'Isn't it obvious?' Heero replied back with a non-reply.

'I'm not a Preventer. Go bug the others who are.'

'Everyone is needed, in this case.'

'Do I look like I care?' Duo waved his hands out. 'Shoo, shoo, go away. Don't come back and rain on my parade.'

'Are you taking some sort of substance?,' Heero stood up from the couch. In six long strides, he was there, pulling up one of Duo's eyelids to check.

'Ow! Fuck that hurts, man! Le'go, le'go! Oh sweet motherfucking Jesus... oww...'

'You don't appear to be on anything...'

'Because I don't take drugs, you dimwit. I don't even take aspirin.'

'And so you shouldn't. Too much aspirin is bad for your liver.'

Duo blinked at Heero. Then he turned away. Squatting in the doorway, he placed his head in his hands and groaned loudly.

'I don't need this! I really don't need this again. Heero, I haven't seen you for three blessed years, so why do you have to turn up and go spoiling the peace here?'

Heero frowned at the comment.

'I am not responsible for the disturbance, Duo. I am trying, along with the others, to settle it.'

'I meant my peace, dickhead- what for come here and disturb my little peacefully corner of the world.'

'There cannot be any true peace, unless the world itself is settled,' Heero proclaimed.

They were great, lofty words which were, at the moment, currently out of context with the situation at hand. At their utterance, the words proved many things about Heero that Duo had known- that Heero had a good heart and a kind soul, and there was more than a screw loose in his head- all the screws were fucking gone.

Exactly sixty eight hours later, stinking, sweaty, and in the same pair of pants he went clubbing with, so that made it three days wear- Duo was seriously doubting his sanity too. To boot, he had been shot in the arm, shot in the shoulders, nearly shot in the fucken' head- the bullet had skimmed the side of his head and burned past his neck, and was in now in enemy territory attempting to lock down the operations of fort of the enemy via the main computer control rooms they had snuck in. It hadn't quite worked out cleanly so they had to set up a 'careful' haphazard bombing of certain locations to ensure their non-bloody victory- which racked up a huge amount of bodies anyway since the defenders of the non-governmental sanctioned fort had a suicidal tendency to investigate huge explosions by heading towards it en masse.

Lovely, was the only thought that could enter Duo's head at the end when the surrender was finally made official- that sometime approaching midnight when his jeans were heading towards their fourth wear. He collapsed on the mainframe's desk, and slumped.

Thank goodness at least part of the plan worked- the finale when they flooded the internal territory with sleeping gas. On the computer monitors around them, images of sleeping mercenaries and the base's guards were strewn about. All were unarmed, and cuffed in their sleeping state. They were being picked up by Preventers masked with heavy gas masks.

Heero explained that the end part to the plan had been unexpectedly thought up by Relena, who had once suggested such an action to Heero. Heero decided to incorporate the plan for one of the largest operation the Preventers had carried out since their foundation. Duo was torn between calling the idea both brilliant and very stupid. Since it was a mountain fortress they had took on, perhaps he could reluctantly say it was applicable in this case- but he still thought the idea on the impracticable side for normal operations.

Especially considering that the operation had only been planned to take less than eight hours, it was extremely lucky that mostly isolated computer area was the only damn block that drew from a different vent outside, because Heero had only brought enough oxygen for that time period.

'What is the matter with you?'

'What do you think is the matter!? Hell, I'm too old for this now, Heero. I can't take this sort of thing in my stride anymore, y'know.'

'You're approximately the same age as me,' Heero pointed out. 'Only about twenty two. You are still healthy and young.'

'Oh? And you call having holes in your body, "healthy"?'

Duo pointed to his immobilised arm, which had been wrapped tightly and carefully by Heero after they secured the control rooms. Despite the very professional compression, blood, throughout the course of the two and half day, had soaked through the makeshift bandage of Heero's shirt. Unlike Duo's smoke, alcohol, and semen riddle shirt- who had followed his jeans along to the club, Heero's shirt had been the cleaner choice of material, and so was sacrificed for the mission's cause. His arm had been bound up at a strangely awkward angle, but for a reason.

After the takeover of the control room, Duo had to work in quick, synchronised unison with Heero to take over the base system, so Duo's arm had been bound in a way to allow his fingers movement. So bye, bye shirt, because rapid fire typing, despite not being an intensive exercise move that could cause a heart attack, did cause blood to flow and stain.

Not that Heero was without a shirt. The man came stocked permanently with a green tank top under everything. And despite seemingly to have grown out of wearing such, Duo more than strongly suspected Heero came with spandex also glued to his ass.

Ah, the plastic forbidding Perfect Soldier doll which will never teach the innocent of things best left unsaid and done. Heero's underwear spandex probably never came off. Now that'll be a sight if it did... Duo blinked and shook his head. Now where did the thought come from? Two and half days of staying up, blood loss, and now he was speculation about robo-soldier's robocock.

'You'll get over it. Suck this.'

Heero handed Duo a candy from the emergency kit he had. He also handed Duo the remaining quarter of a ration bar. Heero had been steadily feeding Duo at periodic times with his share. Duo's share had run out yesterday.

'The medics will be here soon. So hold on.'

'Damn, I don't know how the hell I let you get me into this. I gave this shit up years ago!' Duo growled sluggishly. 'Why the fuck am I here? This is hell.'

What that a half smile that just flittered across Heero's face?

'Because you're no quitter, Shinigami.'

It was almost playful the way Heero's hand reached out and brushed across Duo's fringe. He stroked Duo's head. Duo closed his eyes and groaned downwards, then muffled his rasperry against the mainframe's panel.

'Yeah. Love you too.'

Heero's stroke paused fractionally.

'Don't kick a man while's he's down, Heero. It's friggin' cruel,' Duo complained. 'I came, I saw, I helped, so fucking keep that sort of gushy gooey shit dribble away from my sensitive ears, 'kay? Don't need this now. I'm done with duty- you hear! I'm done with it! This is the last time, get it? You ain't going to sweet talk me into doing stunts like this again.'

Heero was quiet. Then Duo felt Heero begin to withdraw his hand.

'No. Don't.' Without looking up, he reached up with his non-injured hand and grasped Heero's warm hand. 'Can you keep doing that?' he begged. 'It's keeping the pain in my head from developing for some reason.'

Awkwardly, almost shyly, Heero resumed.

'Ah, thanks Heero. You really make me feel good.'

Duo always broke the rules in all the places he went. He was rebel. He was fighter. He had fought to gain freedom for all of the Colony people in the war, and broke the law of odds by winning at it. There was, however, one law he followed strictly, without fail, and believed in strongly. That was Murphy's law. The law of what can go wrong- will go wrong. For example, after a successfully mission, something huge, something big and major had to, in his life, go wrong.

The incident happened sometime between the hospital stint and the get back to the apartment with the semen soaked coach for some more of the good life plan he had.

He hadn't planned on emptying his seed, for example, over the sweaty muscled abdomen and chest of one sexy Preventer of the year and era, Heero Yuy. Nevermind it had been fucking erotic as hell and a pleasurable blast to ride on top of a big, throbbing dick that felt so damn good inside him. He had never had the sweet spot rubbed in him while having his own dick massaged by an fucking expert hand- Heero had to be one hell of an experienced lover or a experienced wanker because he had never touched himself and gotten the same sensation he had when Heero had jerked him up and down like that.

There had been absolutely no time for words, because they had been too busy with attempting to find out... find out many things that now brought heat to Duo's cheeks and loins as he looked down at the sleeping face of Heero.

Holy fuck.

Now what?

At twenty eight past four in the morning, Duo was now contemplating the huge mistake... mistakes... mess he had just made with Heero in the privacy of Heero's laundry apartment room. Heero was asleep on the ground, next to Duo. Around them, a combination of dirty clothes and bedding material stained with damp wetspots littered the floor and basket alongside freshly lemon scent and clean material which not only had been successfully laundered- but had also escaped being reused again. Heero and Duo were lying against a pile of clean laundry, bar a torn pair of twisted boxers that lay on the side of the head. Visually, it did look like a hurricane had hit the place. In actually fact, they had sex in the room a mere three times compared to the kitchen and living room areas. Oddly enough, they had not made it to the bedroom at all due to pausing in the laundry room to gather extra sheets.

And to think Heero's apartment had look like the shining example of a real estate magazine when he first stepped in it and noticed the decor- before Heero had turned his attention away with that kiss.

Damn. What a kiss had that been.

No doubt. It really always were the fucking quiet ones.

Duo touched his lips.

But.

He genuinely liked Heero and did not want to lose Heero. In fact, he may... may just might like just more than....

An icy shiver raced through him.

'Hell..' Duo whispered. 'Absolutely, fucking hell no.'

'Duo..?' came a soft inquiry.

Duo jumped and looked in panic own at Heero. The bright blue eyes of the other man were awake. Heero look faintly puzzled then suddenly, understanding appeared on his face. Ah great. Now it just happens to be the time when the big donk develops a sense to actually read people's feelings- just when he was at his most vulnerable and sure as hell didn't want no one to go looking into his soul with deep, penetrating eyes. Heero really did have zero sense of timing.

'If you trust me, Duo, know this- it'll be fine,' Heero looked steadily at Duo. 'Now do you trust me?'

Duo's throat dried.

'Am I your partner?'

'I'm not a Preventer.'

'I'm not asking you if you were. I'm asking if I'm your partner or not?'

Duo slowly nodded. 'Yeah, I guess... you are.'

'Then go to sleep.'

Heero lifted the blanket off the tiles of the floor and draped the blanket around them both. Duo hesitantly lay down next to Heero on the crushed cleaned and dried laundry pile. A poking button dug into his skin but he ignored it.

'Is your arm okay?'

'Yeah. It's not strained too much.'

'Good.'

Duo was startled when Heero rose up and brushed his lips against his own.

'Then good morning, partner. Don't think too much now. It's time to go to sleep.'

Despite the hard floor, and unusual makeshift lemon scented bed, when Duo closed his eyes, sleep readily came. And with it, came whispered dreams of a sunny future.

Fin.

DSA


End file.
